Finally bedtime

Its 10:34 at night and Brantley has finally fallen asleep after 3 hours of crying. I know its not super late but i have been done with today since 1pm. Momming is hard. I had never realized how much it takes to be a mom. Messy hair, smeared make-up if i even had time to put it on that day. snot, throw up, and god knows what else I'm wearing by the time i crawl into bed. I get so jealous of those moms that always have it all together. The skinny mom that looks like she has never been pregnant. Always wearing make up and having her hair fixed. Follow a budget and a schedule.. i want to be that mom but I'm not. I am a mess.

I smell pretty bad right now. I know i should get up and shower but that takes effort that i just don't have. He fell asleep on my face. Cayson has been peacefully asleep for a while he has a smile on his face.. maybe i was good enough today. Does every mom feel like this at the end of the night? 

My house is a mess and I am laying here thinking of all the things that i should have gotten done today. Rethinking every second of my day asking if i was good enough. I know i cant be perfect but i just want to be so much more than i am. Achieve more,  make more money, spend more time with the kids, find time for date night.. the list goes on.

I fall asleep knowing I did everything i can and that I love these boys beyond words. Im a Mom. A good mom. Im their mom and im so thankful. If you feel like this and go to bed still wondering if your a good mom. You are a good mom. These thoughts your having are normal and you are giving them everything you can. Good night momma's 

                               Sincerely, 

        Chelsea Lynn